Author: StyleForDorks.com

I'm a style-writer, teacher and director of experiential education at a high school in San Francisco.

Style Story: Chris K

Above, Chris’s Style-Up: Before and After.

Over the years, I have gone through my own style growth.

I have learned a great deal: what rules to follow, what rules to break, and how style is more about self and identity and less about cloth and clothes.

I call the process of matching up my outsides to my insides (and maybe stretching both in the process) “Styling-Up.”

“Styling-Up” might be part of someone’s “Style Story” (my nickname for the story that we tell about who we are and how we choose to express ourselves). I’ve been fortunate enough to assist a few in their newest chapters.

As much as I’ve enjoyed the looks on their faces (or their significant others’ faces) as they came out of the dressing room in Styled-Up gear, I’ve found the stories behind the Style-Up to be meaningful and inspirational.

Meet Chris – in his own words. The cartoons are mine.


Chris: Database Designer and Published Author, Chapel Hill, 41.

WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR STYLE “BEFORE?” WHAT DID YOU LIKE? WHAT WASN’T WORKING? 

I have a superman cap I've been wearing off and on since I was a grade-schooler, and golly, it's fantastic.

I have a Superman cap I’ve been wearing off and on since I was a grade-schooler, and golly, it’s fantastic.

  • I’d never really been much for paying attention to clothes. I’ve generally worn things that are comfortable, easy to keep clean, and, well, don’t require too much fussing. Recently, I went through a very Steve Jobs phase. Which isn’t to say I wore a black mock-turtle neck and jeans every day, but I was into very utilitarian, simple clothing (read: solids) that didn’t draw attention to itself (or me). I do have a cool Hugo Boss suit, but how often can you wear a Hugo Boss suit? Well,  every day, I suppose, but I’m not that type’a dude.
  • That said, I do become very attached to certain pieces of clothing. For example, I have a Superman cap I’ve been wearing since I was a grade-schooler, and by golly, it’s fantastic. You can almost see through the material, it’s worn so thin, and the integrity of the bill has been breached (and supported by paperclips) since the late 90s. This proves that I’m not a heartless, anti-clothing troll, right? I have a heart and sentimentality.
  • Still, I yearn to look good. Well, naturally—who doesn’t want to look good? I’d already figured that choices about what to wear could directly affect how others (girlfriend, friends, colleagues, potential clients) see me, but I didn’t have the energy to unlock that code. Enter Style For Dorks.

WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN “STYLING UP?”

  • I have a lot of exciting, new things in my life. I’m traveling frequently to New York, to London, to San Francisco—networking and working with creative people—and I thought it would be fun to show up always looking put together, always looking on top of my fashion game.

SINCE YOUR STYLE-UP, WHAT HAVE YOU ENJOYED/ NOTICED / LEARNED? 

Before the Style-Up I was a flat glass of milk. After the Style-Up, I’m an effervescent bottle of Italian Soda with a twist of lime.

Before the Style-Up I was a flat glass of milk. After the Style-Up, I’m an effervescent bottle of Italian Soda with a twist of lime.

  • Well, for one, it was über fun. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about it—and sort of prepared to grit my teeth and poo-poo all of Evan’s choices and combinations using my polite coping skills, but once we got going, I enjoyed it. I’m a left-brained programmer in my day job…so it was a nice change, focusing on texture and color and pattern and subjective beauty and how all these things combine to create a look.
  • I was surprised at how many different combinations you can get from a few select items. I think I have enough varieties here to wear something different every day until the machines become self-aware, none of this is relevant any more and we’ll all flee to underground tunnels and wear silver, polyester bodysuits with numbers on them (I’ll be THX 1138).
  • I have to admit, after the Style-Up, I have a little extra glide in my stride. Before the Style-Up I was a flat glass of milk. After the Style-Up, I’m an effervescent bottle of Italian Soda with a twist of lime. I want to be seen. I stand a little taller.

IF YOU COULD “CHANNEL” THE STYLE TRAITS OF ANY PERSONALITY, WHO WOULD IT BE? 

Steve McQueen in Bullit or Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke—both pull off that "effortless stylish" thing.

Steve McQueen in Bullit or Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke—both pull off that “effortless stylish” thing.

  • That’d be Steve McQueen in Bullit or Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke—both pull off that “effortless stylish” thing. I’ve always been really good at the effortless part, but I’m kind of excited about focusing now on the stylish.

The Style-Up

sweater and tie

Slim and Simple:

In a recent interview with J. Weekly, I was asked what a man on a budget could do to Style-Up, and my first piece of advice was to make sure your shirts fit properly – notably, shirts’ shoulder seams must hit right at the shoulder.

Shoulder seams should hit right at -- well, the shoulders.

Shoulder seams should hit right at — well, the shoulders.

Chris and I started at Banana Republic and picked out 3 staple shirts: chambray, and black gingham.

All three were snugger in the torso than Chris was accustomed to, but a saleswoman watching us remarked, “Looking good! Great fit! I hate it when guys wear their shirts too baggy!”

Going into the Style-Up, Chris (who had read my polemic on the power of the knit tie) warned me: I will not be buying any knit ties.

I reassured him that there would be no knit-tie pushing.

Until he found a sweater he liked and asked what I would advise wearing it with.

Let’s just say that Chris is the proud owner of a fly knit tie.


Through the Denim, Darkly.

Through the Denim, Darkly.

Denim Darko: 

Though Chris emerged from the Style-Up with enough outfit options to suit up during his entire upcoming international adventures, he only needed one pair of pants, and, perhaps surprisingly, it’s something he already had.

Jeans.

But all jeans are not created equal, and the best jeans are not the most expensive, and they do not push a fancy, gourmet label.

Rather, the distinguishing feature is that they must be dark denim. Dark denim is not the same as faded bluejeans. They look sharp. They look “grown up.” They never look douchey, and you can wear them with a t-shirt if you’re ready to rock a Paul Newman look, or with a nice shirt and thin tie, if you’re ready to bag a new client with the best barrel-aged Manhattan ever. 

We picked out a pair of slim-fitting, straight leg jeans in an indigo-blue color, and we cuffed them at the bottom so there was no drape.


Chris, time to get comfy with the fact that your shoes are gonna be ogled.

Chris, time to get comfy with the fact that your shoes are gonna be ogled.

 Eye-popping shoes

Chris likes to wear a pair of hiking boots when he’s taking his kids to the park, but his best leather shoes are sweet oxfords from To Boot New York. They are classy but conservative.

To bring Chris a bit forward into flair-city, we fit him with two pairs of shoes which I was jealous of.

First, he surprised me by pulling from the shelf (I’d like to think it has to do with my comforting presence) a pair of Monk Strap Dress Shoes.

Monk Straps are the flashy cousin to the Oxford. They’ve been making the feet of men fly since European friars rocked them for their foot-protecting, laceless simplicity. Now, paired with dark denim and a stylish shirt-n-tie, they’re a little bit classy and in fact – a little bit dandy.

Monk Straps: Classy with a touch of dandy. And a touch of the best dressed Franciscan Friar in the abbey.

Monk Straps: Classy with a touch of dandy. And a touch of the best dressed Franciscan Friar in the abbey.

I figured that was it for fine footwear, until Chris laid his eyes on a pair of shoes close to my heart  – blue Allen Edmonds neumoks. I suggested, back in a post on the top five stylish to do with a Tax Refund, that anyone who lays eyes on these shoes might find their eyes welling up in joy – whether for their style or for the fact that they’re union made in Wisconsin.

Their red laces played off the “trust me” socks I’d put in the shopping basket earlier. and though they’re bold in their color, they go with everything.


Blaze it, Sweat It 

Chris wouldn’t have described himself as much of a “blazer and tie guy” … like about every other fellow I’ve done a Style-Up with. And like many of us, the second he found a blazer he liked, it was like he’d just discovered wood-fired margherita pizza with fresh mozzarella and fresh basil. 

Like a pizza from Del Toro, great style is all familiar ingredients – just better. Fresher. And more lovingly made. And the meal, as a result, is fan-fricken-tastic. It’s beyond being simply full at the end of a meal. It’s being moved and delighted and kind of impressed.

We left Banana Republic with a fine pair: an unstructured (no padding, no lining) navy blue blazer and a classy grey blazer. Both items can be paired with shirt and tie for a casual, styley, professional look, but the blue one (with it’s working buttons) can be worn with a white t-shirt, sleeves rolled up, for a rock-star on a nice date look.

chris booya


Ready for your own Style-Up?

I won’t hold your hand, but I will guard the fitting-room door.

Live in the bay area? A style-up is painless. Maybe even fun. And it might help you land a date / job / both at the same time. Drop me a line at stylefordorks at gmail dot com.

Outside of the Bay Area? Through the miracle of the interwebs, we can arrange an on-line consultation. You’ll end up with a handful of great items, some new looks, and a spring in your step. Drop me a line at stylefordorks at gmail dot com.

 

Style-Story: Andrew

Above, Andrew’s Style-Up: Before and After.


Over the years, I have gone through my own style growth.

I have learned a great deal: what rules to follow, what rules to break, and how style is more about self and identity and less about cloth and clothes.

I call the process of matching up my outsides to my insides (and maybe stretching both in the process) “Styling-Up.”

“Styling-Up” might be part of someone’s “Style Story” (my nickname for the story that we tell about who we are and how we choose to express ourselves). I’ve been fortunate enough to assist a few in their newest chapters.

As much as I’ve enjoyed the looks on their faces (or their significant others’ faces) as they came out of the dressing room in Styled-Up gear, I’ve found the stories behind the Style-Up to be meaningful and inspirational.

Meet Andrew – in his own words. The cartoons are mine.


Andrew: Researcher, Berkeley, 32.

What were your feelings about your style “before?” What did you like? What wasn’t working?

"I liked the times when things seemed to fit right and I felt confident about my appearance.  I also liked that I had a few items - such as a bright purple sweatshirt - that would draw compliments and open conversations."

“I liked the times when things seemed to fit right and I felt confident about my appearance. I also liked that I had a few items – such as a bright purple sweatshirt – that would draw compliments and open conversations.”

"Style has always been something that I’ve felt uncomfortable and apprehensive about - even whether to pay attention to it."

“Style has always been something that I’ve felt uncomfortable and apprehensive about – even whether to pay attention to it.”

  • I often felt that I didn’t really have a sense of how things went together. Sometimes I wore clothing that I felt didn’t look right on me, but I lacked a way to describe what wasn’t working.

What’s the story behind your interest in “Styling Up?”

  • I recently finished school and was entering a new stage of my life. I wanted to feel more confident and appear more professional, while also finding ways to express myself.
  •  I was looking to gain some outfit ideas that were in between casual sportswear on one hand (which I mostly wore day to day), and formal wear on the other – something that I could wear to my work as a researcher, or for an evening out.
  • I had a lot of … very basic questions about clothing and style, [and] was looking for a framework to answer them.

Since your Style-up, what have you enjoyed/ noticed / learned?

  • The Style-up with Evan was an important step along my style development. My style awareness has been heightened, and I feel a lot more confident in putting together an outfit.
  • I enjoyed learning specifics about some of the details like socks and undershirts, as well as some broader concepts for the future.

If you could “channel” the style traits of any personality, who would it be?

"My grandmother has a timeless elegance in her style. She knows how to add details to any outfit such as a scarf or jewelry. I really admire how she is able to complement strangers on their style and accessories, which often leads them to open up into conversation."

“My grandmother has a timeless elegance in her style. She knows how to add details to any outfit such as a scarf or jewelry.
I really admire how she is able to complement strangers on their style and accessories, which often leads them to open up into conversation.”

  • My grandmother has a timeless elegance in her style. She knows how to add details to any outfit such as a scarf or jewelry.
  • I really admire how she is able to complement strangers on their style and accessories, which often leads them to open up into conversation.

The Style-Up

Slim and Simple:

Shoulder seams should hit right at -- well, the shoulders.

Shoulder seams should hit right at — well, the shoulders.

In a recent interview with J. Weekly, I was asked what a man on a budget could do to Style-Up, and my first piece of advice was to make sure your shirts fit properly – notably, shirts’ shoulder seams must hit right at the shoulder.

A great fitting shirt makes you feel great.

A great fitting shirt makes you feel great.

Andrew and I started at Levi’s and picked out 3 staple shirts: white, pink, and gingham.

All three were smaller than Andrew was accustomed to, but they brought definition to Andrew’s shoulders and torso.

To go with the shirts, Andrew bought two ties – denim, but very classy. One, grey-blue, and one with subtle engineer stripes.

The gingham shirt with denim tie is classy enough for martinis after work, but it’s also casual enough for a pint at the pub.

The gingham shirt with denim tie is classy enough for martinis after work, but it’s also casual enough for a pint at the pub.

Dark Denim:

To match the shirts, we picked out a pair of slim-fitting, straight leg jeans (tumbled rigid Levi’s 514, to be precise) – and the usual rules applied: the darker, the classier (stick to indigo-blue), and we cuffed them at the bottom so there was no drape. This creates a crisp finish above his new shoes.


 

The Dress Shoe that Fits Like A Sneaker 

Look like a million bucks. Fit like sneakers. Got 'em on clearance.

Look like a million bucks. Fit like sneakers. Got ’em on clearance. Yup.

 

Andrew was interesting in picking up some shoes to wear at a wedding – but we wanted them to match with the look he was already establishing – simple, clean, and classic.

We found a pair of Cole Haans which accomplished a few things; they’re dressy, they’re styley, AND they’re made by Nike. They fit like sneakers.

What's cooler than Chuck Taylors? Leather Chuck Taylors.

What’s cooler than Chuck Taylors? Leather Chuck Taylors.

Finally, just because they were awesome, some grey-leather Converse All-Stars. As I’ve said in a previous post, Chuck Taylors are unstoppably cool, and the grey leather boosts even this classic look – making it a wee-bit edgy!


The Power of a Great Watch

Diesel dz1090 - earns the maximum compliments per dollar (CPD).

Diesel dz1090 – earns the maximum compliments per dollar (CPD).

Like many guys, Andrew uses his cell phone to check the time. Great. That frees up his watch for completing the look.

In a prior post on watches, I featured four time-pieces that double as conversation pieces. We happened upon the Diesel DZ 1090, and with its thick, brown, leather band (matching Andrew’s belt), it added a little raw-punch to the refined outfit. [By the way, you can find these online for under a hundred dollars.] 


 

Dressed up without standing out.

Dressed up without standing out.

Blaze it, Sweat It 

Finally, since Andrew presents research at science conferences, he expressed an interest in being able to dress up without standing out.

Two pieces addressed this need, and completed his look.

First, an unstructured (no padding, no lining) blazer by Jack Spade, and second, a classic cardigan by Banana Republic. Both items can be paired with shirt and tie for a casual, styley, professional look, but can also do double-duty with a T-shirt for the science conference after-party.

cardiganReady for your own Style-Up?

I won’t hold your hand, but I will guard the fitting-room door.

Live in the bay area? A style-up is painless. Maybe even fun. And it might help you land a date / job / both at the same time. Drop me a line at stylefordorks at gmail dot com.

Outside of the Bay Area? Through the miracle of the interwebs, we can arrange an on-line consultation. You’ll end up with a handful of great items, some new looks, and a spring in your step. Drop me a line at stylefordorks at gmail dot com.

White Chinos : The Non-Nautical Way

I just picked up a pair of white denim from Scotch and Soda, and was thinking about what to do with it. Then, I found this post. Nice work, Men’s Style Pro!

Sabir M. Peele's avatarMen's Style Pro

(all font in burgundy is clickable)(All shoes in the posts are by Johnston & Murphy and the chinos are from Bonobos)

It’s very easy to style white chinos the “nautical way” by pairing them with a striped or solid navy shirt. Of course, I have nothing against the nautical style, especially for the summer, but, white chinos have their place outside of the boating realm. One of the great characteristic of white chinos is that they are a blank canvas that can be pair with just about anything. As opposed to white jeans, chinos have the ability and the texture to be dressed up well for the office or a semi-casual event and they can really be dressed down with a polo or henley shirt. Below are four outfits that address the issue of stylish white chinos without going nautical and without relying on “peacocking” colors to seem on…

View original post 660 more words

Compliments, Gifts, and Gum on Planes

Your reply to a compliment should match the approximate enthusiasm of the compliment. Why? Read below.

Your reply to a compliment should match the approximate enthusiasm of the compliment. Why? Read below.

When 32B offers you gum, take it. You know the situation: you’re on a plane, and the guy next to you takes out a stick of gum and offers you the pack. You say, “Oh, no thanks.” Ok, if you’re allergic to gum, you can say no. But everyone other than “Johnny Allergic-to-gum,” should take the gum. 32B was offering you one of the very few small gifts a stranger can offer another stranger without being creepy.

Gum is one of the few gifts a stranger can offer without being creepy. Present case excluded.

Gum is one of the few gifts a stranger can offer without being creepy. Present case excluded.

The other is a compliment. People react to compliments in different ways. Some people love them, and will use them as an excuse to rhapsodize about their own awesomeness, and others may flat-out deny the compliment.

Bringing us back to gum. You cannot control the way others react to your gum-offer (or compliment). But you can take a moment to be aware of what is to be gained from a styley compliment or a styley reply.

A compliment is a small gift. When you offer it, offer it cheerfully.

You can be vague, “Cool hat.” You can be specific, “Wow, check out the laces on your shoes!” But offer it warmly.

When complimented, try not to be distracted. You might not have taken by surprise by the compliment, rushing to the water-cooler, but take a moment to make eye contact.

Reply to the compliment with a smile and a measure of enthusiasm in the same ballpark as the compliment itself.


 

Why are we talking about compliments? Isn’t this manners 101?

It is, but there’s more to it.

When I was about 12, my grandfather opened his wallet and offered me a 10.

Trusty Bowie

Trusty Bowie

Trusty Zippo.

Trusty Zippo.

“I can’t take this,” I said, probably parroting a trope I’d learned from movies:

"Nice cape, Lando!" "Thanks, Boba. Nice jet-pack."

“Nice cape, Lando!” “Thanks, Boba. Nice jet-pack.”

kneeling besides the fallen, bleeding comrade, receiving from quaking hands some beloved artifact“I can’t take your trusty Bowie Knife / Zippo / Lando Calrissean Action Figure.

“Take it,” said my grandfather, who could be quite no-nonsense. “Don’t hurt my feelings.”

Gifts are not about politeness. Gifts are about connection. And in today’s world of alienation, isolation, and bowling alone, we need all the connection we can get.

So take the gum.

And tell the guy you like his tie.

The Unbearable Lightness of Getting Rid of Stuff

The Style For Dorks Guide to getting rid of stuff. Clockwise from upper left. 1. Anything you haven't worn in a year. 2. Anything that no longer fits. 3. Anything where you also have a "better version" of it. 4. Anything with a stain.

The Style For Dorks Guide to getting rid of stuff. Clockwise from upper left. 1. Anything you haven’t worn in a year. 2. Anything that no longer fits. 3. Anything made redundant because you have a “better version” of it. 4. Anything with a stain.

I feel sorry for sweaters.

Allow me to explain.

I’m a sentimental person. I’d hope my friends would say that  this is what makes me a decent listener when they’re in crisis.  I empathize, I feel others’ pain. It’s worth it to be wired this way, because being a human being is about human feeling.

It has a few odd side effects.

1. Crying uncontrollably when Battlestar Galactica ended.  I take comfort knowing I am not the only one.

Cylons don't wear ties. But when they do, they prefer to wear Cylon-Ties.

Cylons don’t wear ties. But when they do, they prefer to wear Cylon-Ties.

2. I feel sorry for sweaters whose time has come to complete the Circle of Life, and continue their journeys to the Sweater-Nightlands.

The sweater that mounts the world.

As a result of this somewhat misplaced sentimentality, I own the following:

  • A Ted Baker blazer. Moleskin. Forest green, awesome lapel pin, gorgeous pattern. Too long. Don’t wear it.
  • Diesel Blazer. Military khaki. Cowl neck collar. Sleeves are weird. Don’t wear it.
  • Striped shirt from Target. Got two compliments on it, five years ago. Don’t like the collar. Don’t wear it.

I won’t bore you further.

What I remind myself: Styling-Up is not just about amassing stuff. Though I am good at that. It’s also about streamlining, refining. Curating. Editing.

In that sense, Styling-Up is exactly the same ongoing process as all learning, all growth. Continuously, we add new elements to who we are, and say goodbye to elements that have outlived their usefulness. Or rather, we try to. If it was easy, therapists would be out of a job.

It seems to be that the thing that makes growing difficult, as a human being, is that not only may we fear the unknown, we may feel sorry for the old-selves who we banish off to the Old Self Nightlands.

Forever may they ride.

 

Why you should wear a tie on vacation

let yourself goRelaxing vs. Letting Go

When I leave work, stressed out and exhausted, I have two options, and I usually do the wrong one.

I can come home, take off my teacher-costume, and lay on the carpet, watching cats on Youtube —  or I can go to a cafe, read for an hour, draw in my journal, blog, and then go home.

When I do the first option, time passes, but I never really feel more relaxed. My evening quickly turns into an ongoing quest to feel relaxed. In some sense, I never really get off the floor.

When I do the second option, an hour passes, and I arrive home with the work day squarely behind me. I no longer need to unwind. I’m “unwound.”

This is because “relaxing” and “letting go” are not the same thing. “Letting it go” creates a new hunger: to continue “letting it go.”

On vacation, many people tend to dress in what they think of as “relaxed” clothing. Understandable. Making it through the semester, the 2nd quarter, the fiscal year, the project – it nearly killed you – and it’s time to relax.

But the same psychology applies – we’re temped to slip into the most “relaxed” thing we can find to wear, and spend the day – the weekend, the vacation, whatever – in shorts, flipflops, t-shirts, and the like: on the beach, in the vacation house, around the hotel, at a restaurant.

And truth is, there’s nothing wrong with any of these clothes, if you love wearing them. But if you’re only wearing them on vacation because that’s the most relaxed thing you own – and you desperately need to relax – you may not be doing yourself a service.

You may not actually feel more relaxed as a result, and the little extra bit of attention you would have gotten for dressing on point? It’ll go to someone not wearing board-shorts and a tank top.

Dressing relaxed vs. Like a slob. No offense.

Now, don't these folks look relaxed? "Beach vacation? Capitol idea!"

Now, don’t these folks look relaxed? “Beach vacation? Capitol idea!”

I propose rolling back the clock a little, and thinking about what people wore on vacation – you know – back in the day. You’ve seen the sepia pictures. Men on vacation might have worn a tropic-weight suit. A linen shirt. A straw dress-hat. Women might have worn a festive dress. Capris and espadrilles. Colorful prints.

linen suit

“When I go on vacation, I’m careful to lean jauntily against every lamp-post I can find.”

Tonight, on the other hand, in one of the finest restaurants in Santa Barbara, I saw men and women dressed just like that. For an elegant, relaxing evening in a beautiful place. One table over, others dressed as if they’d just rolled out of bed.

Neither is more correct. But I’d like to suggest: it might not be as fun (or relaxing) to wear a t-shirt and flip flops to a restaurant as it is to wear something really snazzy. Not something that says, “I’m trying to relax” – but rather, something that makes you feel awesome.

 

Think of vacation not as a time to let it all go – but rather, as special time. It’s time you deserve. Dress up for it.

How to about dress relaxed – and yet styley.

Beach Bro. Love it? Wear it. But I have some other ideas for you.

Beach Bro Couture. You love it? So, wear it. But I have some other ideas for you.

If you step on the plane to Vacation-land and automatically slip on the beach-bro gear, maybe it’s because you love it and well, you should keep wearing it. But when it comes down to it, there is nothing inherently “authentic” about this stuff. It’s the most commonly peddled gear along every boardwalk. It’s the most common look. But it doesn’t need to be your look.

 

1. Wear bright, primary colors and bold stripes 

This is the fastest and most forgiving way to step into styley vacation-gear, and to step out of the throngs of board-shorts and tank-tops. Wear blue, red, and white. Yes, like the American Flag. No, you will not look like a flag.

Recognizable color scheme... but does not appear that Betsy Ross dressed me.

Patriotic color scheme… and yet, it does not appear that Betsy Ross dressed me.

nautical stripes

You seriously cannot go wrong with nautical stripes.

 

Here it is. A comfy fabric. A beautiful color. And nautical stripes look great on everyone.

Here it is. A comfy fabric. A beautiful color. And nautical stripes look great on everyone. Club Monaco nails it.

2. If wearing pastels and linen, be sure it fits perfectly. 

Otherwise, you will look like Uncle Russ on vacation. Or like the guy in a Lipitor ad.

Check to make sure the shoulder seams hit your shoulders (see my diagram),

Not too high. Not too low. Makes your shoulders stand up and say "wassup."

Not too high. Not too low. Makes your shoulders stand up and say “wassup.”

and that nothing is too baggy. If this is freaking you out, go back to #1.

3. What you wear on the beach should not be what you wear in a restaurant, at a bar, or to a party. Unless they happen to be on the beach.

American style sometimes confuses “sportswear” with “sports gear.” What’s the difference? Think about it: what is a sport-coat? It’s a less formal jacket that men wear when they’re not in a business meeting. It can be worn out for dinner, to a party, to a show. “Sport,” in that context, means, well, “not formal.”

You do not play beach-volleyball in your sport-coat.

Vice versa is also true. Whatever gear you wear to play sports, or to look like you’ve been playing a sport, doesn’t need to go with you to your evening plans .

Look at what Don wears to the beach (left)…and what he wears when he sips a drink /contemplates the pieces of his broken life (right).

Mad Men (Season 6)

Don’t imitate the “drinking away your emotions” thing, but this approach to dressing for vacation is on point.

don bathing

I don’t think it’s a good idea to read Dante on the beach, but if you’re going to, try wearing a classic-color bathing suit instead of a high-tech, neon orange pair of board shorts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This guy is probably on the right track, but with his shirt hanging out, it's hard to tell.

This guy is probably on the right track, but with his shirt hanging out, it’s hard to tell.

4. Tuck in your button-up shirts. 

If your shirt is slim-fitting, sure, wear it out. But try tucking it in, first. You might like what you see. And if it’s not slim fitting, definitely tuck it in.

 

 

 

5. Polo shirts

Baggy, tucked in, with cargo shorts? No.

Baggy, tucked in, with cargo shorts? No.

When wearing a polo, it must be slim. Stick to blue and black, and pair it with well-tailored pants.

When wearing a polo, it must be slim. Stick to blue and black, and pair it with well-tailored pants.

A polo shirt looks great with a few caveats. It cannot be baggy. If you must wear a polo, wear black or dark blue, and consider tucking it in. Notice the difference between Uncle Russ in his favorite polo, and the guy on the right, who looks suspiciously like a certain ad exec from the 60s.

Notice how sharp a polo can be when it’s slim fitting and tucked in. This is not the same as a baggy polo over kakhi shorts with socks pulled up. Save that look for when you’re retired.

6. Wear a tie 

Portrait of the artist as deeply, deeply relaxed. (And the wine was awesome.)

Portrait of the artist as deeply, deeply relaxed. (And the wine was awesome.)

You were wondering when I was going to get around to this.

I’m not talking about the tie a banker wears, or the tie a geometry teacher wears. I’m talking about the kind of tie a classy, stylish guy wears on vacation.

It should be skinny, it should be made of a light material like linen or cotton, and it should have a fun print.

Two companies that nail this are the Hill-side and General Knot & Co. They often incorporatie vintage, salvaged cloth into their fresh designs. Pair one of these with a slim-fitting, white shirt, and you’re golden.

(In fact, there’s a huge sale at the Hill-side, until June 29. Pick of the litter, a “beach tie” made from gorgeous cloth for less than a mass-produced tie from a big-box store).

Wear a tie on vacation. Maybe you’ll get a better seat in a restaurant. Maybe the clerk will upgrade your suite. Maybe the flight attendant will give you an extra packet of peanuts. I can’t guarantee any of that, but this I know from personal experience: you will feel great. And to circle back to the theme of this post, you will enter into a state of mind where you are right where you need to be – relaxed, deeply in your element.

 

 What to avoid

Now that we’ve covered some basics, here are some suggestions about what to avoid altogether.

1. Avoid clothing that advertises absolutely any sports gear, vacation destination, or tropical kitch. That means no advertising for Señor FrogsBody-Glove, or Billabong. Even if you have been there or use their gear. That also means no Bob Marley shirts. Feel free to enjoy surfing, reggae, whatever floats your boat. Don’t walk around as a billboard, saying, “I’m a mellow surfer guy. I’m a party dude.”

If you are one, just be one.

What happens if it's too big and too loud.

What happens if it’s too big and too loud.

Yes, I know. It's Elvis. But you'd look good in this one, too.

Yes, I know. It’s Elvis. But you’d look good in this one, too.

 

2. If you have a hankering to  wear a Hawaiian or tropical print shirt, the pattern should be in tasteful colors. The cut should be slim. Look at the difference between the classy shirt that Mr. Presley is wearing, compared to these too-big, too-loud, see-em-all-the-time specimens.

 

3. Fleece and other “adventure-gear.” This goes along with saving beach-gear for the beach. Save your fleece vest and pants-with-lotso-pockets for your nature hike.

4. Lastly – and this is what it all comes down to: wear a Bob Marley fleece tank-top with your socks pulled up and binoculars around your neck if you want to – but under no circumstancesever, should you boss a waiter or waitress around, snap your fingers for a bartender, rage at the airline attendant, or subject the people around you to your drunken bellicosity or bonhomie. There is nothing stylish, whatsoever, about that guy. 

No matter what he’s wearing.


If you enjoyed this, check it the first entry in the “Why You Should Wear A Tie” series, “Why you should wear a tie to the park.”


 

And…a contest for my readers!

Send a picture of you on vacation — at your most stylish — to StyleForDorks (@) gmail (dot) com. I’ll share a few of the best  next week!

 

Thoughts on turning 40: The Comic Conclusion

Wherein our hero turns 40 and attempts to find resolution on the complex feelings about this new decade.

For those of you who’d like a refresher…

Part 1

Part 2

And now, the main event.

All comics drawn with s Micron O1 pen on a Paperblank Journal. No corrections or erasures. Boldly, onward, I draw.

All comics drawn with Micron O1 pen in a Paperblank Journal. No corrections or erasures. Boldly, onward, I draw.

comeek v22

Line “crawl like a turtle through time” comes from poet Jay Driskell, who shared it with me in a poem around 1996.

comeek v23 comeek v24comeekfin comeek v31 cooked comeek v32 comeek v33 cooked comeek v34


Thankyou, dear readers, for joining me on this journey. I’d love to hear from you – your thoughts on important birthdays you’ve reached…or one coming down the road.

 

Fathers’ Day Stylish Dads Contest: Winners

Thank you to all who submitted pictures for the Fathers’ Day Stylish Dads Contest. My four favorites? Four generations from various families, pictured below. Enjoy!

louisvictor

Four Stylish Dads, Four Generations

 

iggy

Style For Dads – A Fathers’ Day Contest.

A contest for my readers.

But first, an anecdote:

One night, when I was a lad about 14, my father took me out to the back yard to throw the ol’ ball around after dinner.

There was one serious problem.

Unlike most father/ son/ ol’ ball acts, I’d never really learned how to throw or catch. We’d been at a rummage sale that afternoon and, on a whim, had picked up a glove and ball.

Let’s just say that the ball spent more time rolling along the ground than it did whizzing through the air.

My father is a man of great style – and by that, I mean he knows how to conduct himself, with compassion, in any situation. He knew that his role was to run after the ball, and to keep his mouth shut about my throwing skills.

That sort of patience inspired me, throughout my life, to experiment, creatively, in my studies, my art, my teaching, my travels, and my style. Ultimately, style is not about what you wear, but about your stance in life – style is about trying things, and if you don’t like the way it works out, well, try something else. More importantly, I’m learning that style is about making space for other people to find their voices.

Sepia Style: Grandpa "Irv" Wolkenstein

Sepia Style: Irv “Gramps” Wolkenstein


Alan "Pops" Wolkenstein

Pops “Alan” Wolkenstein

sweater


And now, the contest:

Dig up a photo (or take one, now) of your father (or a father figure) who, in some way, contributed to your style. You define style however you want.

Tweet pics to @StyleForDorks or Email to StyleForDorks (at) gmail (dot) com.

Include, if you like, a few words about what this fellow did for your style.

Winners will be posted at the end of Fathers’ Day.


Happy Fathers’ Day, everyone. (Especially you, Dad!)

Turning 40: A Send-Off – Part 2.

Image

All cartoons drawn with Micron O1s in a Paperblank Journal. No corrections or erasures allowed. Boldly, onward, I draw.

Yesterday, the last day of my 30’s, I drew part one in a cartoon series about turning 40 – “Who I was, who I am, and who I’m becoming.” If you missed it, check it out.

Today, the conclusion. And if it raised any thoughts about your own birthday (if you are having a birthday any time this year), please – COMMENT below, share your thoughts, ideas, musings, and maybe a blessing for my new decade.

Happy-Birthday, Self!

 

5 year incrememnts v2

5 year pt 2


 

thought experiment


myths v3

last part v1
last part pt 2 v1


Will Evan reach resolution?

Will Evan find his new self?

Tune in tomorrow – for the existentially exuberant conclusion to “Thoughts on Turning 40!”


Okay…

I hope you enjoyed my reflections on turning 40.

Below, share your thoughts on your own upcoming (or recent birthday – if you had one this year) – wherever you may be in this journey!