Author: StyleForDorks.com

I'm a style-writer, teacher and director of experiential education at a high school in San Francisco.

New Years Resolution: 30 Days of Writing – “Day 1. Things I’ve Learned From Austin, TX.”

Austin brings out my inner bad-boy-biker.

Every year, while people around the water-cooler talk about their New Year’s Resolutions, I plug my ears and go “la-la-la.”

I’m not a growth-Scrooge. I believe in stretching myself. I take the Jewish High Holidays very seriously, and while some steer away from facing their shortcoming on the Day of Repentence, I bring a day-bag with me because I never leave the synagogue.

So no, I’m not afraid of owning mistakes and striving to be better.

But Yom Kippur, for me, is usually interpersonal. Relationships with family and friends and colleagues need work, and I spend a month meditating on that. I know I need to work on my inter-personal follies.

On the other hand, usually, New Year’s resolutions are about striving for the personal. People vow to give up vices and take on new, healthy habits.

But I like my vices and I already eat kale, like, 4 times a week. I call home every Sunday, and I try to tip generously. I don’t want to change, so when New Year’s resolutions come up, I plug my ears and say “la-la-la.”

Unfortunately for the “non-resulutionary” in me, I’m on vacation in Austin with someone who is also growth-oriented, but who is less saddled with High Holiday “I’ve Already Repented” baggage than I am. Over a Frito-Pie at the Yellow Jacket Social Club, she suggested we take on a New Year’s resolution, but she packaged it in just the right way.

“Let’s take on something for thirty days. Thirty days of writing.”

So here I am, resolving to write for 30 days. Once a day, I will post. And here is today’s…shamelessly ripping off a format made successful by the same writer who framed the resolution in the first place, a writer I trust and admire.

10 Things I’ve Learned From A Week In Austin

1. Some of the most comfortable places you’ll ever be, in life, are temporary. Enjoy them. Don’t get too used to them.

2. Great food is great. Good food is good. But food that’s made out of not-good ingredients will always be not-good, no matter what it is.

3. Old friends hold parts of you in their memories. Find them. Reconnect with them. Reconnect with the old-you.

4. What goes even better with a movie than popcorn? Beer.

5. Don’t overpack your days. Except when it’s the last day.

6. When strangers are friendly, it makes everything better. Maybe I could be a little friendlier to strangers, a little more often.

7. Intuitions are sometimes right, but often, deeply, deeply wrong. Share your decision-making process with people you trust.

8. Live music is magical. It doesn’t need to be a fifty-dollar concert. Find a band at a local pub, and delight in the gift of their music. Whatever it is.

9. Return to places that catch your eye. Your eye was probably caught for a good reason.

10. Everyone has a story. Listen and learn.

BONUS: Listen to Anthony De Costa. Seriously.

Confidence and Humility: A Los Angeles Story

Gabi and Gabi
Photo from: http://www.sfweekly.com/foodie/2014/06/25/young-and-hungry-gives-sfs-food-and-tech-cultures-the-abc-family-treatment

Last weekend, I went to Los Angeles for the shooting of the first episode of the second season of Young and Hungry.

This is because the main character, Gabi Diamond, has a few things in common with my girlfriend, Gabi Moskowitz. Both are spunky, funny, driven chefs – both blonde – both with terrific ambition. And this isn’t a coincidence. Gabi is actually based on Gabi.

Though Gabi Diamond lives in fictional San Francisco, “the real Gabi” lives in actual San Francisco. And, that said, in my mind, Gabi Diamond lives in Los Angeles, because that’s where I go to see her. I walk into a huge building with lofty ceilings and lots of lights – and lots of people – and lots of rushing around. And about thirty feet away, my girlfriend’s fictional alter-ego comes alive on stage.

The show is cute and clever and has a ton of heart. And similarly, Los Angeles. It’s cute. And clever. And has a ton of heart. I know this; I haven’t just felt that heart, but I’ve seen it. I’ve had the pleasure of joining the writers of Young and Hungry in their creative den, and I’ve watched storylines take shape on a white-board. Their passion for their craft is phenomenal. They are dedicated to the stories, to the characters, and to making a show that will make people laugh. And in that studio, last weekend, the thrill of creativity was palpable. I am, generally, happiest around creative, passionate people. And there was so much creativity – in Studio 15, and in Los Angeles, in general.

Coiffed.

Walking down the streets of Los Angeles, however, I sometimes found myself thinking uncharacteristic thoughts. I was overly attuned to how people look, to how I look, and it was impossible not to. Everything is coiffed.

Old women with little dogs. Both old woman and dog are coiffed.
Slinky dude in head-to-toe leather. Trying not to look coiffed, Totally coiffed.
The most attractive people I’ve ever seen. Coiffed, coiffed, and coiffed.

And there I was, standing in line for a coiffed coffee, feeling self conscious. It brought out my inner middle-schooler.

“Am I okay?”

Kristina Welzien, a friend and genius, hooked me up with this amazing cut. I think it nails the balance: confident and humble.

Kristina Welzien, a friend and genius, hooked me up with this amazing cut (and the photos, too). She, too, is confident and humble. (While I’m at it, I’ll mention that the TieBar.com flower strikes that same balace: flower made of humble yarn. In-your-face red. Get the idea?

This was neither good nor bad, but an exercise in articulating who I am. Sometimes it’s good to be pushed to the margins of who you are. Then, you can have a Northern California-esque “check in” with yourself.

I’m a Style Writer, and to be sure, I have never been un-self-conscious. What is so awful about being self-conscious in middle school, however, is that (as we remember) there is no refuge in two critical mindsets that true grown-ups learn: confidence and humility. Confidence is earned, slowly. With hard work. Meanwhile, the slings and arrows of life beat humility into you; but also, it must be chosen and honed. Like confidence. Slowly.

Which brings me back to Gabi. Both Gabis. Both are occasionally self-conscious, as are we all, but both blend healthy portions of confidence with humility. Gabi Diamond, going to bat (culinarily speaking) against the famous chef Michael Voltaggio, says, “I’m not afraid of a trial. Because I’m innocent and my food will be proven delish.” And yet, she is humble and kind when interacting with her friends – even if they’re not as wildly talented as she is. Gabi Moskowitz, meanwhile, could knock the socks off a world-class food critic — with the food she throws together on a work night. And then she’s willing to cook for her mother’s book club or for a fundraiser for a local school.

Even this guy would be blown away by Gabi’s cooking.

She has an incredibly successful blog, two cookbooks and a T.V. show. But she’ll brainstorm with me as if Style For Dorks were the most important blog on the interwebs.

The real Gabi.

And how does Style fit into this?

Find the balance.
Be self-conscious enough to look. To care.
Be confident, enough to dress in a way that helps you feel like you’re the most handsome version of you that you can be.
Be humble. Period.
Blend your inner S.F. with your inner L.A.
Be like Gabi. Both of ’em.

Why Style for “Dorks?” A Dork’s Manifesto.

Bad guy.

Good guys.

Someone suggested, recently, that my blog’s name could use an edit. More specifically, I should consider changing a single word.

Q: “Why ‘Dorks?'”

A: Sometimes I get a little post-modern.

We live in a world of semiotics – of signifiers and signifieds, where everything means something. Lots of things.

Here’s an example:

In the classic 80s movie, Revenge of the Nerds, the “Jocks” are the bad guys. They wear a “bad-guy” uniform. Meanwhile, the protagonist underdog Nerds wear pants cropped too high, collared shirts, and bow ties.

The outfits are the signifiers. They signify: social outcast.

Jump forward thirty years.

Jock? Hipster? Nerd?

2014: Nerd? Jock? Hipster?

Conditions have changed such that trendy, ubercool Brooklyn Circus can make a line of varsity gear – not for Jocks, but for, well, nerdy dudes. Meanwhile, the cropped pants, cardigan sweater, and bow tie is only nerdy in the way that the word itself is no longer even remotely pejorative.

Now, don’t misunderstand me: I’m not saying that we now live in a society that appreciates all individuals for who they are. I wish. I mean, I teach high school: and let me tell you, there are still Nerds and Jocks. There is bullying, there is a pecking order. But you can’t tell who is who based on their uniform, and in many ways, the ultra-rigid social signifiers of the 80s have loosened. And fortunately, many of the behavioral norms have changed, as well.

Ok. Pretty dorky.

When Revenge of the Nerds first came out, the “boxes” for what was socially acceptable were narrow. If you loved something other than Top 40 music and sports, you were out of luck. Proof: I used to get made fun of for listening to the Beatles. The band that never goes out of style was too dorky for the 80s.

Today, thank God, it’s praiseworthy to “nerd out” or “dork out” over, well, almost anything. To dork-out is to love something with abandon. Without caring – or even knowing – what anyone else thinks. To dork-out is to love something so much that you’re willing to learn about it. Talk about it. Argue about it. Read about it. Even write about it.

Drama. Videogames. Politics. Social justice.

Even style.

Proud Style Dork.

When a Style Dork dresses, he’s interested in signifiers and signifieds. Not just – how does this look. But also – what does this mean?

When a Style Dork dresses, he’s curious about various combinations – and what they meant historically. And what they mean, now. And how to mash them up.

When a Style Dork dresses, he’s okay with provoking a reaction.

When a Style Dork dresses, he’s okay with experimentation.

And most of all, when a Style Dork dresses, he’s okay with the fact that’s he’s put some thought into it.

And as for you, well, if you’re reading about style, well come now, you’re probably a bit of a dork about style.

Might as well name the blog after the proud truth.

How Much Style-Flair Causes a “Flair-up?”

One plus one plus one plus one is zero.

Every artist knows that there is a sweet spot, somewhere between too little and too much.

Too little doesn’t get noticed. Too much, like every single game on the Price is Right, is a bust. You get nothing.

When you start getting in to style, you discover how much there is to learn:

Ties. Blazers. Watches. Pocket squares. Shoes. Socks.

Maybe you’re ready for shoes that pop. A blazer that pops. A watch that pops.

Q: Can you do all of the above? How much is too much?

A: To assist you in navigating the straights of TOO LITTLE and TOO MUCH, I’ve put together the infographic above.

Sort of a bold tie, right? +1 Flair!

Add a red bandana for +1. The seer-sucker jacket might qualify for a flair point, as well. Here, I’m probably in the +2 or +3 range. I’d want to tone down the pants and shoes.

Q: What is flair?

Answer: Flair is anything that gets noticed. A loud print or color. Something shiny or bling-ey. Something oversized (a watch) or undersized (an incredibly skinny tie). Almost any kind of accessory.

Q: Why do I want to wear flair? Shouldn’t I stick with a classic look?

A: Sometimes, sure. Go classic! But the reason you’re reading this blog is you’re curious about style. And curiosity often leads to expression. Flair is a way of expressing yourself through your style — taking a little risk, getting noticed.

Q: What does not qualify as flair, even if it’s noticeable?

Answer: Something so classic, so clean, that it “blends in” with the look. A white pocket square, folded over doesn’t count. Brown or black Oxfords, loafers, and wingtips don’t count. A simple knit, wool, or cotton tie doesn’t count. A neutral (cream, beige, grey, blue) sweater doesn’t count. Dark denim jeans never count. All these things look fantastic, but they aren’t flair.

Get the idea?

+2 Flair: Bold / Dapper!

Q: What’s the first place to add flair?

Answer: Shoes/socks or ties. Definitely. In the picture to the right, you can see a StyleUp with Chris, wherein (ankle up) he level-ups his style with a great shirt, tie, and blazer combo, but it’s nothing that would catch anyone’s eye, per se. It’s a great outfit. It is not a “wow” outfit.

But Chris was ready for flair, and it’s all there – from the ankle down. Blue leather shoes, bold socks, and a super-wide cuff? That’s level three: daring / edgy!

Q: Does anything earn more than one flair-point, immediately?

Answer: Absolutely. Here is a non-exhaustive list of flair items which bump you up two notches, immediately. Use with caution.

Anything gold or shiny (excluding simple jewelry). Read: gold / silver sneakers.
Leather pants, or a blazer / sweater with leather elements besides elbow-patches.
Colored leather other than brown / black.
Cropping pants / sleeves very high (unless you’re Thom Browne).
If you’re Thom Browne, cropping your pants high doesn’t earn you any flair, since you invented the look.
Anything that registers as “costumey” or “affected.” This includes: flared pants (see? They’re called that for a reason) and other hippie-gear.
Derbies, top hats, walking sticks, cravats, and other “steam punk” styles.
Matching shirt and tie? Generally a style no-no. Here, the patterns are bold, but classic. The tie is narrow. And the gentleman was trying to catch someone’s eye…

Cowboy boots, hats, bolos, anywhere outside of a place where they’re the norm.

Any of these items: if you rock a really stellar style with it, YES. You might be able to pull it off. If you do it, do it with confidence, knowing that you are going out of your way to stand out.

And hey. That’s a good thing.

I was going to a fabulous event and I wanted to make a splash.

Question: I’ve been doing this style thing for a while, and I’ve rocked levels 1, 2, and 3. Is there nowhere left to go?
Answer: The Advanced Style Swerve is the fashion equivalent of Nirvana, where all the rules of mortal men no longer apply. Once in a while, if you know what you’re doing, you can break some essential rule and come out looking like a baller.

Still…I always show my Advanced Style Swerves to someone I trust before I rock it in public!

But I showed it to her, first.

Style-Story: Dan

Above, Dan’s Style-Up: Before and After.

Over the years, I have gone through my own style growth.

I have learned a great deal: what rules to follow, what rules to break, and how style is more about self and identity and less about cloth and clothes.

I call the process of matching up my outsides to my insides (and maybe stretching both in the process) “Styling-Up.”

“Styling-Up” might be part of someone’s “Style Story” (my nickname for the story that we tell about who we are and how we choose to express ourselves). I’ve been fortunate enough to assist a few in their newest chapters.

As much as I’ve enjoyed the looks on their faces (or their significant others’ faces) as they came out of the dressing room in Styled-Up gear, I’ve found the stories behind the Style-Up to be meaningful and inspirational.

Meet Dan – in his own words. The cartoons are mine.

Style-Story: Dan, School Principal.

WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR STYLE “BEFORE?” WHAT DID YOU LIKE? WHAT WASN’T WORKING?

I’ve always felt comfortable about my style, mostly because I’ve never given it much thought… I liked clothes that are basic, comfortable, and generally casual – I’ve tended to place a premium on comfort and function. The only time I didn’t feel great about my style were when I had to dress up for something, and I never really knew what to do with that.

WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN “STYLING UP?”

Recently, I’ve needed to up my game since taking a job that places me more in a public role in my community. Before, it didn’t matter much if I looked shlumpy when out and about or socializing with friends.
I wanted to see what it would feel like to try something different. There are many parts of my “self” that I thought were basically formed, or done changing now that I am in my late thirties. But I was wrong – I am open to trying on different aspects of my self, including trying on different clothes.

SINCE YOUR STYLE-UP, WHAT HAVE YOU ENJOYED/ NOTICED / LEARNED?

I’m excited about the general guidelines/lessons I learned while trying on clothes, and looking forward to applying them in future shopping. I’ve never gotten so much (any) attention from store employees before, either – that was fun!
You helped me identify a style “goal” that fit me well – a mixture of casual/rugged and “styled up.”
I put together my new “duds” in preparation…to play bass [with] a funk/blues band, and thought my new styled-up look might help give me a little extra attitude. I’m so excited to play music on the regular again!!

IF YOU COULD “CHANNEL” THE STYLE TRAITS OF ANY PERSONALITY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

My family and I have been watching “The Voice” recently, and I have to admit that I am enamored with Blake Shelton’s style – he always looks comfortable and kind of casual — but also “dressed up” in a masculine way.

The Style-Up

Start at the Ground Floor

Dan is a really thoughtful guy. He knows more about anthropology than most anthropology text-books. And from what little I learned as an undergrad, anthropology is very interested in the rules that cultures live by, giving structure and purpose to life. True to his academic bent, Dan was interested not only in the outcome of Styling-Up, but also in the rules that govern solid style. He seemed pleased to learn that the variations are infinite, but many of the rules are simple. For example:

Satisfyingly simple: start with the shoes.

Like many men, Dan is interested in practical, comfortable, and “approachable” clothes. Not surprisingly, he gravitated to two classics, both “protean” in their ability to add (wait for it) … class and sass — to any outfit: a pair of Chucks, and a pair of Clark’s Original Desert Boots.

In a recent post, I lauded both of these for their flexibility. Paired with a t-shirt and jeans, you’re casual, understated, cool. Paired with a cardigan or blazer, you are classy and hip. Could could have stopped here and called it a day.

But both shoes come in “+1 Flair” options – meaning with just a little more “pop.”

Dan found Chucks in blue leather and a pair of Clarks with a bright orange sole. All the cool of the understated original but with a paradoxical bit of “frowny face nodding respectful expression.”

“Tell her to make me a cambric shirt, / Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.”

The foundation to the upper part of the body is the well-fit shirt. The top two contenders for Styling-Up are the simple, white oxford, and the chambray. Chambray (once called cambric) is that material that looks a little like denim, but lighter. It’s made up of white and a colored fabric (usually blue, grey, or pink) interwoven, and it looks classy and yet – rugged. Masculine.

A chambray shirt paired with dark denim and styley shoes is unstoppable.

Add a thin, knit tie for perfection – classy enough for a nice restaurant, or to casual Friday at work.

If it’s good enough for Simon and Garfunkel to sing about, it’s good enough for me.

The Classy Layer

Over the chambray shirt, Dan was ready for a classy layer. Sure, sleeves rolled up is great for a faculty meeting or a visit to a classroom, but what about a parents’ meeting? Or when presenting at a conference?

Here comes the power of the unstructured blazer and the cardigan sweater.

Some blazers (see diagram) have shoulder pads and a payer of material between the shell and the lining. This is what gives a suit jacket it’s suit-jackety shape. It’s why you might not wear a suit jacket with jeans. Too formal.

But the unstructured blazer (see diagram) is at the crossroads of classy and cool (for a full post on unstructured blazers, read here). It pairs beautifully with dark denim and a knit tie. And for the odd occasion when you want something a little more casual (jazz concert? Coffee with a friend?), the cardigan does the job.

Hat on? Hats off to you.

Go for a classic pattern. Avoid fussy detailing like excessive stiching, patches, or (shiver) rhinestones.

Like Dan, go for a classic pattern. Avoid fussy detailing like excessive stitching, patches, or (shiver) rhinestones.

Hats can be tricky. On the one hand, the right hat will add flair to an outfit and unify the patterns and colors – like a good tie. On the other hand, a cheap-looking hat (like a cheap-looking tie) looks, well, cheap.

As it turns out, there are some corners that can be cut.

The Tie Bar, for example, offers fantastic knit ties for the cost of a cheap haircut. The thicker weave can obfuscate the fine details that might otherwise betray the quality of a cheap silk tie.

The same is true for hats. Here’s the look we’re avoiding: hats that look like you bought in on the Boardwalk. Dress hats (think smooth hats in black or grey) look very cheap when they’re cheap. Caps in a finely woven fabric can also look cheap.

But if you pick a hat by a company like Original Penguin, Brixton, Goorin Brothers or Ben Sherman, and you get it on sale, it won’t cost much more than a “I-bought-this-hat-along-with-a-2-foot-long-red-alcoholic-drink-in-a-clear, plastic-tube” hat. And if the fabric has a thicker weave (think wool), you might have a keeper.

Incidentally, two details can betray the quality of your hat: the band and the stitching. It’s hard to describe what makes a cheap band or stitching look cheap, but to get you pointed in the right direction, avoid a band that’s too shiny, or a hat where the stitching is crooked or aligns the pattern in the fabric unevenly.

We found a hat by Original Penguin; the material was dense enough to have heft, the quality decent, and it had an awesome, little bit of flair – a patterned kerchief corner peeking out of the band.

Ready for your own Style-Up?

I won’t hold your hand, but I will guard the fitting-room door.

Live in the bay area? A style-up is painless. Maybe even fun. And it might help you land a date / job / both at the same time. Email Me and we’ll get you on your way!

Outside of the Bay Area? Through the miracle of the interwebs, we can arrange an on-line consultation. You’ll end up with a handful of great items, some new looks, and a spring in your step. Click to Email Me.

Top Five Ways to Rock a Sweater… without looking like a slob.

“Put a sweater on, your mother’s cold.”

Once upon a time, a sweater was something I might don, at my mother’s behest, only because it was drafty in the living room, and no one important was going to see me in it.

The warm garment of choice was a hoodie sweatshirt. Sweaters were for, well, dorks.

Then, five years ago, I was in Berlin, at one of the most infamous nightclubs in Europe. And lest you think I’m boasting, let me clarify: the bouncers at the door of this exclusive club glanced at me as if I was floatsam that had washed up on their beach, and it wasn’t worth their energy to throw me out.

I tucked my favorite sweatshirt behind a rusty pipe for safekeeping, and five hours later, the hoodie was gone. (Again, not because the garment was so cool that some tattooed, pierced Berliner needed it for his collection. It was probably used to mop up spilled Club Mate.)

My girlfriend was sympathetic to my loss but she surprised me, saying: it didn’t look that good on you, anyhow.

A bit of wisdom from the official spokesperson of the cardigan sweater.

* * *

This was the dawning of the age of the sweater. It’s the sweatshirt’s older, classier, and more versatile cousin. And when selected carefully, it becomes an essential component in your style.

Here’s how to wear a sweater without looking like Mr. Rogers…or like a slob.

This perfectly fitting garment is a hybrid – crossing the sweater, jacket, shirt nexus. That’s why it pairs so well with a hoppy IPA.

Rule 1: It’s gotta fit.

Like all garments, the difference between a styley sweater and a “put a sweater on, your mother’s cold” sweater is fit. A sweater’s seams should trace the outside point of your shoulder, and it should conform to your body, without being tight. In other words, it’s not a sack. It should confirm to your torso, not hug it, and not bury it.

Rule 2: choose one based not only on how it looks on a hanger, but how it looks with the rest of your clothes.

A sweater isn’t just something to throw over a T-shirt, although that’s one of its many duties. It’s also a layer to pair with a nice shirt and tie, for date night or for drinks after work. In a lounge full of blazer-wearing other dudes, your carefully crafted sweater-tie combo will catch eyes. From there, your scintillating personality will have to seal the deal.

The tie says: classy. The sweater says: snuggly. That’s a killer combo.

Rule 3: the thickness of the threads is inversely proportionate to the sweater’s formality.

I call this the thickness-formality principle. It’s been written about in many academic journals. Trust me.

What does this mean to the non sweater-pundit? If you pair a sweater with a fine weave with a white shirt and knit tie, for example, it’s biz-casual. And very styley. If you work in a creative field, you can wear it to a meeting with a client to go over some ideas. And afterwards, celebrate with a barrel-aged Manhattan.

But if you pair the same shirt and tie with a chunkier sweater, then it’s better for sipping pretzels and bier after work. With the shirt and tie, you’re the best dressed, most relaxed alta in the garten.

The take home: mashing up fancy and casual is a recipe for a funky, styley look.

Rule 4: No holes. No wrinkles. No pilling.

Your sweater isn’t a sweatshirt, and while it gets more character from being beaten up, it’s not the kind of character you want when you’re going styley.

Once a sweater starts pilling — (those little fabric nubs, satisfying to pluck off, akin to popping bubble wrap) — it’s over. You can keep it at home for lounging and wear it to the laundromat, but it won’t do much for your style. (A word to the wise: higher quality sweaters will pill less and look good for longer. Meaning: buy fewer, better. That said, there are ways to treat pilling, after the fact).

When rocking a sweater-vest, make sure it is slim-fitting, and make sure the shirt under it is also slim fitting. Otherwise, you’re going in the middle-school geek direction.

Rule 4: Try a sweater vest. Seriously.

A sweater vest, if it’s slim and a simple design, looks amazing. It’s reminiscent of styley dudes as far back as the 20s, and has never gone out of style. Pair it with a wool or knit tie, a chambray shirt, and a blazer for a knockout look. Then, if the office is sweaty, take off the jacket, roll up your sleeves, and you look like you’re ready to get down to business – styley casual business!

A sweater with contrasting sleeves is great for bigger dudes, as it helps bring your body definition. The contrasting stripe is also good for bigger dudes because it looks awesome.

Rule 5: A good cardigan will raise your game.

A sweater with buttons broadcasts a styley, relaxed look. It’s a little preppy, a little sporty, and even a little badass, depending on what you do with it, the design, and the weave.

Leave it open, pair with a plaid shirt.
Wear it with a t-shirt and a cool hat.
Button, and wear with a tie.
Roll up the sleeves.
Wear it with slacks or dark denim.

But warning: cardigans are like tattoos. After you get your first cardigan, you’ll find an excuse to find another.

Cardigans are like tattoos. Addictive. But easier to remove.

Ultimately, figuring out how and what to do with a sweater is a little bit of an art. My first suggestion is to skip expensive sweaters at department stores, and hit the resale stores. For whatever reason, sweaters are abundant at resale stores, and since they’re easy to try on (no need for a changing room), you can burn through the whole rack in 10 minutes.

I guarantee: you’ll no longer associate sweaters with drafty rooms. You’ll associate them with drafting tables.

And lounge tables.

And dinner tables.

And tons, TONS, of compliments.

Style-Story: Bill

Above, Bill’s Style-Up: Before and After.

Over the years, I have gone through my own style growth.

I have learned a great deal: what rules to follow, what rules to break, and how style is more about self and identity and less about cloth and clothes.

I call the process of matching up my outsides to my insides (and maybe stretching both in the process) “Styling-Up.”

Meet Bill – in his own words. The cartoons are mine.

Style-Story: Bill

WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR STYLE “BEFORE?” WHAT DID YOU LIKE? WHAT WASN’T WORKING?

8 years ago — a working artist (stage director)…

I had a lot of conflicts around the word “style” and the idea of “fashion,” and I still do, although the process of the “Style-Up” did help with my desire to get past this hang-up.
I have some sort of chip on my shoulder about form vs. function/content — I see that dichotomy everywhere, and I react negatively to any clothing that I interpret as valuing appearance for its own sake or, worse, for the sake of trend. I’m biased towards clothes that are low-cost and built to last. This is something I like about the way I relate to clothes, but my rigidity about style has prevented me from developing my own sense of my own style.
I know that everyone including me has a style, whether I like it or not, and I would like to exert more control and self-determination, not to mention self-expression, into my approach to what I wear.

WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN “STYLING UP?”

Another style issue for me is my career change 8 years ago from being a working artist (stage director) to becoming a clinical psychologist.
It’s been easy for me to focus on building up a whole new wardrobe of boring business casual clothing because, well, it’s easy, and also satisfies my desire to be “functional” with my clothing purchases, but this has hobbled me in developing any sort of casual outside-of-work wardrobe, especially since I never had any coherent sense of style in this department in the first place.
Coming into my “Style-Up,” my desire was to focus on my casual, evening-out type clothing, face my fear of flash, and not embarrass my wife when we go out on a date.

SINCE YOUR STYLE-UP, WHAT HAVE YOU ENJOYED/ NOTICED / LEARNED?

First of all, I love the clothes I bought.
It’s great to feel proud and secure when I put a piece of clothing on, with confidence that it’s cool and looks good on me.
The Style-Up gave me the freedom to push my boundaries a bit and wear things that I probably would have rejected as too flashy or “that’s cool, but I could never wear it.”

IF YOU COULD “CHANNEL” THE STYLE TRAITS OF ANY PERSONALITY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

The “personality” I go to first for inspiration about most anything is Ian Mackaye (Fugazi, Minor Threat).
A lot of what he wears doesn’t fit or doesn’t look very good on him., but I admire his attitude because it embodies integrity, social justice, non-conformity, self-confidence, and a lack of pretension.

The Style-Up

Bad-Ass: the word of the day.

During a Style-Up, I listen to the words that guys use to describe a new jacket or some shoes they love. I’ve heard, “cool,” plenty of times, and I’ve heard, “awesome,” and I’ve heard, “amazing.”

Bill’s word of choice was “badass.”

For Bill, “badass” means “attitude intact.” It means decidedly masculine. It can have plenty of flair, but it must be built upon a classic, solid structure.

Bill is as sweet and gentle a guy as you can meet, and a family guy.

This makes him a domestic, styley badass.

Start with the Last Thing you Put On

The first place to begin Styling-Up is shoes. It’s the most comfortable thing to take a risk with, and the thing that makes the biggest difference. If you don’t buy that, take a look at the picture below, and notice the difference the shoes make.

Bill wanted some shoes to raise his style-game, but he wasn’t going to be impressed by the brand or by fancy details. Rather, he wanted something “badass.”

The first find was a pair of shoes featured a few weeks ago in my post on Top 5 Casual / Styley Shoes: Chuck Taylors with a great, faded blue wash. A pair of Chucks will go with everything, and this color will go with, well, everything else: it’s fun enough to rock with a t-shirt and its subtle enough to wear with chinos and a button-up.

But sometimes it’s date night. Babysitter, check. Reservations at brew house, check. Significant-other looking very fine, check. Time to put away “badass-styley” Chucks, and break out the “styley-badass” (see what I did, there?) Penguin canvas oxford shoes. Oxford shoes are styley. Canvas reminds me think of big sacks of coffee-beans: badass.

Mix up the high and the low, and you have a great pair of kicks to match with nice jeans, a button-up, and a blazer or sweater.

Stripes: Grrrrrrreat.

There’s a few old style myths that have outlived their function.

Myth: The first is that you shouldn’t wear white pants after labor day.

Reality: I wore white pants last week, and the only people who felt the need to inform me about the “white-pants fashion taboo” were, themselves, dressed in a manner suggesting they had no business telling me what to wear.

No offense.

Myth: horizontal stripes make you look wider.

Reality: big, bold stripes are for bold people. Tony the tiger. Stripes. Badass, and hottest of children cereal icons.

Big stripes build shape and structure into a silhouette, forming a sort of “ladder.” Trust me, this “ladder” invites significant others / attractive cutesters to climb on up and see what else you got goin’ on.

Secret Weapon: The Hybrid Sweater

On date night (or when you’re out, trying to turn a non-date night into date night), you don’t need to “get lucky.” You need a magical, outer layer that broadcasts confidence tempered with approachability.

For many men, the unstructured blazer does the job, nicely.

Bill was more interested in something equally effective, but less “affected”: a sweater. Sweaters are great because they scream “approachable” — but sometimes too much so. What does a styley, domestic badass wear on date-night? We hunted the perfect hybrid-beast: the blazer-sweater.

Soft and cuddly like a sweater. Dapper, with collar and lapels.

The white polo: your new “whateva, whateva” shirt

Sometimes (usually) it’s not date night. You’re at the farmers’ market with your kids or picking them up from school – or sitting down for dinner at home.

What does a styley, domestic badass wear, just… whenever?

First of all, dark denim. Levis. Cuffs. Done.

Then, the magic of the white polo comes in.

On the one hand, it’s a polo. You can throw it in the wash. You can wear it with your badass styley Chucks or your styley badass canvas oxfords or whatever slick, casual shoes you rock (click here for my top recs).

On the other hand, the iconic Fred Perry Polo has a storied history. Mods wore ’em back in the 60s while thrashing London on their Vespas. What’s more badass styley than a Mod?

Remember when we used to thrash London? Me neither. But the closest I get to it is a white polo.

Ready for your own Style-Up?

I won’t hold your hand, but I will guard the fitting-room door.

Live in the bay area? A style-up is painless. Maybe even fun. And it might help you land a date / job / both at the same time. Email Me and we’ll get you on your way!

Bow Ties 101

If you don’t already wear a bow-tie, well, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for.

Perhaps you have an image in your head that bow ties are for:

Professor of theology

A) professors of theology

Chemist

B) chemists

Hipster

C) hipsters

D) Adorable children

Adorable child with bow tie

E) Dr. Who

Dr. Who

But my personal research indicates that bow ties are:

A) fun

b) a little alternative

c) able to net compliments from cute baristas and bartenders.

Bow tie are for everyone.

Rules to Follow for an Optimal Bow Tie Experience

What not to do.

It’s most effective to start your bow-tie adventure with “what not to do.”

See image on left.

Now, the “dos.”

1. Pair a bow tie with a slim shirt shirt / jacket.

Yes, I always prescribe slim shirts, but it goes double for bow-tie days. In the case of a bow tie, the only thing dividing “geezer chic” from “geezer” is whether everything fits you properly.

Go slim or go home.

This J. Crew outfit nails it. It’s light, slim, and very much on point.

2. Go with a fabric other than shiny silk.

You’d jump, too, if you owned this gear.

I recommend linen or cotton, because they’re light and casual. Wool is great for cooler weather.

Shiny silk is a little… middle school marching band.

3. Go small.

Huge butterfly bow ties are for your “eccentric” uncle. For you, it’s compact and streamlined.

And lastly, the clip on / pre-tied controversy solved.

Pre-tied bow tie: suspiciously perfect. Avoid.

Q: Clip on?

A: Never. Ever.

Q: Pre-tied?

A: Only if it’s thick wool. A thick-wool bow tie’s material will conceal the suspicious perfection of a pre-tied knot. Anything else will say, “I’m committing to this bow tie thing only halfway.”

And we don’t do things halfway around here.

Sold on the bow tie thing, but not sure where to start? Here are some places to begin poking around.

Forage Bow Ties: On point, especially with their denim tie.

The Hill-side: everything they make is simple, clean, and classy.

General Knot: would you like a tie made out of material salvaged from a WWII-era haberdashery? Yeah, you do.

Now, a word about ties by Thom Browne.

Remember what I said about avoiding silk? This doesn’t apply for Thom Browne. The silk is luxurious, with a buttery, matte finish. Every single tie he designs is on point: wool, linen, cotton, and even silk.

ebay: a great place to start looking for a Thom Browne bow tie. Use the “follow that search” feature, and with a little persistence, you’ll nab a tie that retails for over a hundred dollars for around $30.

Black Fleece Sale: reliably, you can nab one here for 50 or 60 dollars, and it’s well worth it.

Now you have your bow tie. How do you put the damn thing on?

This diagram aint pretty, but it’s how I learned. If you’re the movie-watching type, Youtube is loaded with how-to videos, all up your alley.

See something you like and want a second opinion?

Style For Dorks is here for you!

Email Me with a link to the site, and I’ll give you a yay or a nay!

Top 5 Styley-Casual Shoes for Men.

There’s what men think impresses women, and there’s what actually impresses women.

It’s worth paying attention to this; some things, men worry about unnecessarily. And other things, men forget to pay attention to.

In a recent interview with a very talented SF style-genius, there was a lot of good news for normal, non-superhot guys:

“Shoes. Shoes are very important. A guy can have a belly, he can be sort of so-so looking, but if he smells good and has great shoes, game on. We can totally make something work.”

So the good news is you don’t need mega-lottery genes. Just like the caveman dorks who defeated the alpha-males through using their higher brain functions, you can make a smart shoe choice that might earn you a genetic legacy.

The “bad news”: there are no “Whateva Whateva shoes.”

Shoes always count.

What do you wear when you want something comfortable. Casual. That won’t call attention to your feet. That you can wear with a t-shirt or with a blazer?

One of these five. I list them below with level-up options for extra flair. (For a deeper dive on how to avoid too much flair, click here.)

Before you feast your eyes, some food for thought: every casual shoe below looks pretty much the way it has since it first emerged – 40, 50, or 60 years ago. The update is in the material and the color. This means that the best outfits to wear with your new kicks follow the same rules.

1. Chuck Taylor All-Stars: white, black, or blue.

+1 Flair: leather or herringbone.

: Blue, Black Leather, Herringbone

2. Clarks’ Original Desert Boots: Beeswax Leather

+1 Flair: blue canvas

: Brown Beeswax Leather, Blue Canvas

3. PF-Flyers

+1 Flair: PF-FLyers Ebbets Field from Brooklyn Circus

White, Ebbets Field by Brooklyn Circus Brown/Cream

4. Adidas Originals Superstar 2

+1 Flair for sticking to all white. But if you gotta get your flair on, keep it simple and pick one. Red. Blue. Black.

5. Pro-Keds by J. Crew

Perfect as is.

+1 Flair: Keep it simple, keep it white.

6. Boat Shoes: brown or blue

+1 Flair: Really blue. Or blue linen.

Style-Up on a Budget: Jeremy M

Above, Jeremy’s Style-Up: Before and After.

Over the years, I have gone through my own style growth.

I have learned a great deal: what rules to follow, what rules to break, and how style is more about self and identity and less about cloth and clothes.

I call the process of matching up my outsides to my insides (and maybe stretching both in the process) “Styling-Up.”

Meet Jeremy – in his own words. The cartoons are mine.

Jeremy M: Sales Executive, San Francisco, 29.

WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR STYLE “BEFORE?” WHAT DID YOU LIKE? WHAT WASN’T WORKING?

My style has always been very “me.” I do a lot of jeans and t-shirts. It reflects who I am. It’s awesome. But…sometimes it isn’t appropriate.
I can dress up in a suit and a button-up, but it’s very basic. I don’t process accessories.
Essentially, I’m not sure how to make my look “pop.”

WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN “STYLING UP?”

My ex-girlfriend used to pick out my clothes. I’m ready for something new.

I’ve gone through a year of transition and many phases. I used to have my clothes picked out for me by my (ex)girlfriend. Since then, I’ve added new clothes, but I’ve been playing it safe. Dress shirts from Target, you know? If I wanted to take a risk – wear a fly suit and stand out – I wouldn’t have known what to do or where to start.

SINCE YOUR STYLE-UP, WHAT HAVE YOU ENJOYED/ NOTICED / LEARNED?

I notice I look forward to chances to show off my new swag. It was fun to get it, but it’s more fun to wear it.

IF YOU COULD “CHANNEL” THE STYLE TRAITS OF ANY PERSONALITY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

"Ditch" the overweight guinea-pig and "Charlie" the cat. Childhood tributes to style-icon, Charlie Sheen.

“Ditch” the obese guinea pig and “Charlie” the cat. Childhood tributes to style-icon, Charlie Sheen. #Winning.

Charlie Sheen’s character from Major League – when he pitches? He’s such a bad-ass. As a kid, I had a house-full of pets named after Charlie and his best characters. Especially awesome was the obese guinea-pig named after “Ditch,” the sky-diving instructor from Terminal Velocity.

The Style-Up

Rocking a great look on a budget

To start with, Jeremy and I talked about his budget for the Style-up. It was totally reasonable to accomplish his goals. It was also realistic. This was not going to be a cost-no-matter shopping spree. We decided to do a Style-Up with a budget theme.

For many of us on a budget, the idea of Styling-Up may seem aesthetically appetizing but fiscally impossible. As it turns out, however, whatever you think clothing costs – the reality is that you should only pay about half of that. Think about Nordstrom, for a moment. They have a pretty great range of men’s styles. And they have one price range. Expensive.

Take Nordstrom Rack, on the other hand. That’s where you get Nordstrom’s overstock and returns. And you pay what this stuff probably should have cost in the first place.

And if you don’t have Nordstrom Rack in your area, you may have something regional to your area that you don’t know about. Find a well dressed dude and pretend you’re new in town. Try this: “Good sir, could you direct me to the place where people with style shop if perchance they do not have unlimited funds?”

If that fails, you certainly have Marshalls, Ross, T. J. Maxx, and the like. Are those places as pleasant as Nordstrom? No. Is it pleasant to save much bank when you shop?

Yes.

Three principles Apply:

1. Be patient: you may not find what you were looking for. Go home and come back in a month.

2. Be flexible: didn’t find what you wanted? Maybe you can find something similar to fill the niche.

3. Be lucky: when you nail it, you nail it.

Jeremy was flexible and lucky, and he walked away with some choice cuts.

Timberland Boot Company. (Trust me, the “Boot Company” distinction is worthy of a closer look and a bit more money.)

Kick off with Kicks:

A great outfit starts and ends with shoes. If you’re going to do one thing to lift your look, that’s where to do it. Jeremy and I dug through a mountain of discounted shoes, and that’s when we struck gold.

Styley meets Comfy: Timberland, which makes meh-footwear, for the most part, has a side label called Timberland Boot Company. TBC’s are very comfy, but also look like a heritage shoe. They’re well made, feature repairable soles, and have the perfect blend of old-world class and “in your face” pop. The style Jeremy found featured the classic cap toe and came in a “wear-it-with-everything” brown – but also, it has intentionally asymmetrical detailing. Just the perfect dash of “rough around the edge.”

Q: What’s more bad-ass than low-top Chucks? A: leather low-top Chucks. The grey, low-top chucks with leather laces will complete Jeremy’s already perfected jeans n’ t-shirt signature look, with enough flair to satisfy his interest in adding a bit of risk.

Timberland Boot Company Wodehouse shoes retail for $275.00 We got them for $100.00

Leather Chucks retail for $80.00. We bagged them for $50.00

As it turns out, the Styliest Color Is…

White.

The color that goes with everything… and that highlights whatever else you’re rocking.

“What, the secret is wear a white shirt?”

Yes, but it must fit perfectly. And the weave must be a rich broad-cloth or oxford. No billowing sleeves or tenting back.

Gant shirts retail for $125.00. We got it for $60.00

The tiger can’t change its stripes… but striped on a tie can change your style.

After stepping up your shoes and putting on a great fitting shirt, the next Style-Up step is a non-silk, non-clerk, non-“I’m running for mayor” tie. My recommendations are:

1. Denim

2. Wool

3. Knit

A striped, knit tie, paired with jeans and a casual, unstructured blazer, says: “Let’s seal the deal on this account and head to Soda Popinskis to celebrate with a round of picklebacks. Although we’re probably a bit old for that. Let’s make it I.P.As.“

Chambray: Good enough for Jake Gyllenhaal. Good enough for you.

Denim Darko

When I first showed Jeremy a chambray shirt, he wasn’t impressed. Indeed, you might not pick a chambray shirt off the rack. The color is pleasant but…familiar. Almost denim. And, well, it’s blue. What are you going to wear a blue, demin-like shirt with?

Everything.

Chambray is like tofu. It goes with everything, and it takes on the flavor of whatever you serve it with. Jeremy’s new chambray shirt lets the navy in his tie pop and plays off the cuffs of his jeans.

Speaking of tofu, and since we’re on a budget, here’s a recipe for the most unbelievable, budget-friendly tofu on earth. Whoever you’re trying to impress with the chambray shirt will jump into bed with you after tasting this.

Sweat It Out

Now, add the sweater. What we see here is the magic of fly footwear, a classic shirt, a casual tie, and a teeny bit of rock-star in this John Varvatos sweater (retails for about $175.00 We found it for just over $100). The sweater itself walks the line between bohemian grunge (with it’s loose knit and straw-color) Oxford professor (elbow patches) and fasionisto (slim fit).

The effect of the gestalt is easy on the eyes — blending hints of lumberjack with Vampire Weekend Prepster – and Jeremy’s boyish good looks (somethings are not for sale at any price).

The most expensive pair of jeans are cheap

One thing Jeremy knew from the get-go was that he wanted some dope new jeans. As it turns out, my recommendation didn’t point to any multi-hundred dollar pair of gourmet hoo-hah.

It’s Levi’s.

The magic of jeans is not in the label. It’s not in the stitching. It is most certainly not in distressing or bedazzling.

It’s in pairing a perfect fit with the darkest, richest indigo you can find.

These jeans could have been $250.00 if they were made by ExpensiveDouchery. By Levi’s, they’re fifty bucks.

This style-up included:

2 sweaters

4 shirts

1 pair of jeans

and 1 tie.

Shopping the Style-Up Budget way saved Jeremy about $500, and that looks good on anyone.

Ready for your own Style-Up?

I won’t hold your hand, but I will guard the fitting-room door.

Live in the bay area? A Style-up is painless. Maybe even fun. And it might help you land a date / job / both at the same time. Drop me a line at stylefordorks at gmail dot com.

10 Things I’ve Learned From A Week In Austin

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

One plus one plus one plus one is zero.

Share this:

Style-Story: Dan, School Principal.

WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR STYLE “BEFORE?” WHAT DID YOU LIKE? WHAT WASN’T WORKING?

WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN “STYLING UP?”

SINCE YOUR STYLE-UP, WHAT HAVE YOU ENJOYED/ NOTICED / LEARNED?

IF YOU COULD “CHANNEL” THE STYLE TRAITS OF ANY PERSONALITY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

The Style-Up

Start at the Ground Floor

“Tell her to make me a cambric shirt, / Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.”

The Classy Layer

Hat on? Hats off to you.

Share this:

Share this:

Style-Story: Bill

WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR STYLE “BEFORE?” WHAT DID YOU LIKE? WHAT WASN’T WORKING?

WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN “STYLING UP?”

SINCE YOUR STYLE-UP, WHAT HAVE YOU ENJOYED/ NOTICED / LEARNED?

IF YOU COULD “CHANNEL” THE STYLE TRAITS OF ANY PERSONALITY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

The Style-Up

Ready for your own Style-Up?

Share this:

Rules to Follow for an Optimal Bow Tie Experience

Now, the “dos.”

Share this:

Share this:

Jeremy M: Sales Executive, San Francisco, 29.

WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR STYLE “BEFORE?” WHAT DID YOU LIKE? WHAT WASN’T WORKING?

WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN “STYLING UP?”

SINCE YOUR STYLE-UP, WHAT HAVE YOU ENJOYED/ NOTICED / LEARNED?

IF YOU COULD “CHANNEL” THE STYLE TRAITS OF ANY PERSONALITY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

The Style-Up

Ready for your own Style-Up?

Share this: